Tuesday 13 November 2012
Imagine.
Imagine what life could be.
Imagine that I am a Mummy, not a Nurse, too.
Imagine that I can hear your voice.
Imagine that you reach for my hand and that you hug me when you see me.
Imagine that you run and dance and play.
Imagine that a simple trip out to the shop is not a test of strength.
Imagine going abroad to swim in the sunshine.
Imagine that the chemist/docs/hospital was not our second home.
Imagine a picnic in the park.
Imagine a pair of school shoes.
Imagine day dreaming about being old and what my grandchildren might be like.
Imagine you can sing like your sister.
Imagine exams and university
Imagine that Daddy and I could go out together instead of in shifts.
Imagine I dont have to watch fits wrack your tiny body.
Imagine I'm not terrified all of the time.
Imagine a world without worry.
Imagine a world without you.
I can't.
I love you, Elin.
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Just happened across your blog and so glad I did! Elin is beautiful! Your post here pretty much described 27 years of my life with my daughter Danielle who was spastic quad cp, non-verbal, cortically blind, and severely cognitively impaired. I spent many of those years imagining, as you do with Elin, the sound of her voice, the feel of her hug and how she would live her life had it been normal. Birthdays were especially difficult. It's been 8 months and I'm still struggling in my attempts at learning to live in a world without her. It's so painful and foreign to me that some days it's more then I can bare. I know though that she made me who I am, and I'll always have her with me since she made up the biggest part of my heart and soul. I know of your daily fears worries and struggles and I wish I could just give you a big hug. I love your pic of the two of you. Let Elin's smiles comfort you and bring you strength as Danielle's smiles did for me. I have no doubts that the love that we have for our girls transcends anything in this mortal realm and is the primary source of strength through the fear and tears.
ReplyDeleteI also want to tell you of a wonderful network of other families dealing with CP and I hope you'll accept my invitation. I'm an editor for Cerebral Palsy Family Network and I would love for you to join our family and share your story and Elin's beautiful smile with our families. You would be an inspiration to so many.
Big HUGS, Merry Christmas and God Bless.
Thank you so much Lee. I would LOVE to join. Do you mind if I re-post your reply on my Facebook page? It has very much moved me and lots of my SEN parent friends am sure would like to join also. Thank you so much for sharing your story with me Danielle sounds amazing and Im so sorry for your loss. I live in fear of the inevitable day when she is no longer by my side, but try not to let it affect my life with her. It's difficult! Lots of love xx
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